Hey, HR Dept! I’m Pointing My Pointy Finger At You!
I have a bone to pick with you, Human Resource department! My beef is that you’re hiring stupid people! Yes there’s just no classy way to put it, they’re stupid people!
As defined by Reference.com the term ‘Stupid’ means any one of the following:
- Lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
- Annoying or irritating; troublesome.
- Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
With that clearly understood, why is it that companies around the world are being filled to the brim with people that have the equivalent combined brain-mass of three goldfish and perhaps a trout…and maybe an algae eater too?…
Consider this seemingly all too fictional scenario:
Mid-Sized-Company: We need to hire 10 people to fulfill our business needs, we got this big project coming up and, you know, we need good people. Go do what we pay you to do! Get the BEST!
Clueless-HR-Dept: We’re on it sir.
Clueless HR Dept hires 10 people…
Mid-Sized-Company: So you got some people and everyone’s ready to start?
Clueless HR Dept: Yes, everyone’s ready, we put them through some extensive and rigorous testing. If they could breath and speak English they were hired, if they could breath, speak English and use their hands to hold pointy inky objects they were hired on the spot and given a starting bonus. If they could breath, speak English, use their hands to hold pointy inky objects and use a computer they were put onto the rejection list. We don’t need people with computer skills, we’ll be forced to pay them too much! Better to not hire them.
Mid-Sized-Company: Excellent. Now we’ll assign somebody that really shouldn’t be training people to train these people on our processes.
Sound familiar? Yea? How many times has this happened in your company? Too many times I’m willing to bet. The worlds companies are being filled with people that are unable to think for themselves. It’s a pandemic problem and I feel that it’s completely HR’s problem, they’re simply hiring the wrong people.
When I’m helping out some people I get the distinct impression that it’s almost as if they’ve never touched a keyboard in their life. I see their eyes flittering all over the screen not knowing what to look for and their butter fingers not knowing where to rest their hands on the keyboard, their faces express their obvious ineptitude with all things technological. It’s at this point that I would gladly hand them a pen and paper and maybe an abacus, it would seem they may be more familiar with those items…and then maybe I’d put them in the playpen with some Lego and give them blue and yellow lollipops if they behave. I’m willing to bet if I paid a visit to their house that the ‘12:00′ is still blinking on their VCR.
So HR dept, do you have any idea how many headaches you’re going to save if you take the time and effort to hire intelligent, thoughtful, dynamic people? Well lots. I’m going to demand that you institute a computer literacy test in the hiring process. But since you’re not too clued up with computers either I’m going to help you out a bit. Here’s a list of absolutely needed skills that a person will need in order to be technologically self sufficient in ANY company (This applies to EVERYONE):
- Problem Solving Skills - Needs to know where a problem actual lies. Eg, When you go to your IT dept and say your Microsoft Word isn’t working when it’s actually your keyboard that isn’t plugged in because you kicked it out don’t expect them to jump to your rescue. “I mean the letters aren’t coming up on my screen so its GOT TO BE a Microsoft Word problem!”. Tsk tsk.
- Hardware - Needs to have basic understanding of computer hardware. No, your monitor is not the PC, and NO, do not mistakingly refer to the little box that sits on your desk as the CPU, it’s the freaking computer okay. When you go to your IT dept and say that the CPU doesn’t turn on you better expect them to look at you with confused faces like this one –> 0_o
- Software Skills - Needs to know how software can be used efficiently to eliminate unnecessary processes, and more importantly which software to use and when to use said software. Saying you have Office skills constitutes competency in a recent Microsoft Office suite so we’re expecting not to hear any problems from you, “Oh what’s that you say? You don’t know how to set your margins?” … GTFO.
- Network - Needs to have basic understanding of how a computer talks to a server and/or the internet. When you phone your helpdesk seeking help and the helpdesk instructs you to type a website into the address bar do not enter it into the Google Search Bar! When it doesn’t do what you expect it to do don’t proceed to say it’s not working because it is working, you’re just dumb, let’s not get that mixed up okay. The Internet Explorer address bar is different from the Google Search address bar!
- Vocabulary - Must be able to speak in terms that other people will understand. Google is NOT the internet, when you say “I was surfing the Google ….” you’re just proving your inept concept of the world wide web and your vocabulary.
Here’s some genius examples of stupidity, I had a lady email me and ask me to have ready a print cartridge for one of the printers in her area. I responded and asked her if she had checked the ‘print cartridge storage room’ for a cartridge for her printer. She responded with the unbelievably genius answer of “No, why would I?”, I thought why would you NOT? so I kept my cool and explained why, but really, what ELSE would we store in that room, a room specially set aside for storing print cartridges?! How stupid can you get?!
So HR dept when you hire somebody please be sure to check that they know how to operate a computer before blessing them and sending them on their merry way because right now my pointy finger is swaying disappointingly sideways in your general direction.
The onus is on you Human Resource Department!
Filed under: Googling Skills, IQ, IT Job, IT Life, IT Skills, IT Support, IWAQ's, Incompetence, Work | Tagged: Butter Fingers, Good Vocabulary, Hardware Skills, HR, Human Resource, Human Resource Dept, Network Skills, Problem Solving Skills, Slow to Learn, Software Skills, Stupid, Troublesome
HAHAHA! You are so right! I don’t know why they don’t hire people with skills! This results in high maintenance users. I have to anser questions like, “Am I on the latest version of the internet?” or “how do I combine these two cells?”
Seriously, if I was hired to do IT work and I went around and asked my colleagues if I am told to “click” something, do I left or right click, I would not have a job for long.
“I was surfing the Google…” HAHA. If google.com disappeared, half the businesses in the world would shut down because all the n00bs wouldn’t know how to find their websites.
Bitter much? I like it.
Well, see the problem with your logic is that you’re a technician, and
this is your job. Do you think they would have hired you if they
didn’t anticipate a need for you there? Remember that you don’t bring
your company a single dime, whereas the sales people, marketing
department, etc can calculate their worth- your worth is based on the
service you provide. The people you are calling “stupid” are your
clients, and your lack of interpersonal skills are going to earn you
little appreciation and respect.
I know where you’re coming from with all this, but remember- by
helping your users you are showing your dedication to providing the
BEST service, and are making your users feel like they are loved. You
should always help the weak. When they piss you off, remember that you
have a wealth of knowledge that a lot of people wish that they had,
and some people just don’t have the talent, or ability- and you
shouldn’t treat them any worse than you would treat someone smarter
than you.
Just my two cents.
Tommy,
You’re right and you’re wrong. You’re right in that I am hired to
support users to help them accomplish their jobs, you’re also right in
that IT Support is really just a cost center, we don’t make the
company money, we’re there to make sure that through the effective use
of technology that other people can do that. Where you’re getting it
wrong is that the Human Resource department is over-looking a key
critical component that will ascertain the effectiveness of this
person upon hiring, and that is how well can said person use
technology to be better off in their job? If you’re hiring somebody
with zero computer skills and then training them up on how to
accomplish their jobs you’re catapulting them into a ‘non-think-state’
environment where they will be unable to think for themselves eg, a
user is trained on how to print PDF documents a certain way (how to
print should be basic knowledge for anyone), suddenly the button in
the toolbar that they use to print has disappeared because for some
reason they had unlocked and dragged the entire toolbar off the
screen, well now it’s gone, they have no clue how to drag the toolbar
back and print now, they also don’t know that they can just click on
‘File’ -> ‘Print’ and that will accomplish the same thing, they’re now
out of action, now say I’m busy with some super important work and I
cannot see to this problem immediately, well now this person is
sitting there twiddling their thumbs, wasting the companies time and
money because of their lack of computer skills. These are the
*basics*, nothing special! Yet I encounter situations similar to this
almost daily. This is the problem!
I don’t know about you but I wasn’t hired to babysit people that
couldn’t give a rats ass about their computer skills. I’m talking
about the absolute basics of computer operation, how to navigate the
OS, how to access network shares manually without relying on mapped
shortcuts, how to achieve an objective (such as printing) 3 different
ways instead of the one way they were sheep trained. I also wasn’t
hired to sit and train every person how to operate Adobe Acrobat, or
Microsoft Word, that’s completely out of the job scope for ’support
and operations’. Sure I could do it, I could train them but with what
time when my entire day is filled helping hapless users map network
drives and fix toolbar issues.
I’ve always said that understanding and knowing how a computer
operates is in everyones best interest because in some form or another
they will be using one to do their job. If they don’t make the effort
to learn a bit about computers then what reward is there in my job?
You know I respect the person that comes up to me and says “Jon, you
know I’m experiencing this strange issue on my PC, I’ve tried X, Y and
Z but couldn’t resolve it, could you come check it out for me?” I’ll
say, “Absolutely! Lead the way!”, I’ll then also show them how to
accomplish it 3 different ways.
Interpersonal skills you say? They’re impeccable! I’m very
professional and will always go out of my way to help users, I would
say that most users appreciate the service I bring to them in
resolving issues.
I absolutely agree that HR should screen better to ensure that the IT Dept doesn’t become a training facility. I also agree that a good 80% of the work that we do could easily be avoided if our HR departments hired accordingly. I have a heavy background in running my own IT consultancy for companies worldwide, and have since joined the worlds largest market research company as an IT Specialist.
Our CIO, and lead IT manager has always stressed that our roles are not only to make things work, but to make our users(our clients) feel warm and fuzzy. I know the frustration that we deal with on a daily basis, and absolutely understand the need to vent (in lieu of bringing an AR15 to work).
I don’t want to come off as reprimanding, or seeming like I am not compassionate for you - I just wanted to share some of the helpful guidance I have received from our industry leaders– Because when CIO Magazine & Wired are writing articles about us in the future, it will be the old-school caring foundation in which IT was built that brought us there.
I greatly appreciate your taking the time to reply to my post. It’s not very often I find someone in a situation similar to my own. Feel free to contact me again if you have any questions about anything.
Thank you for your time.
Tommy.
The marketing guy doesn’t actually make money. He sells a product. The people who manufacture the product / supply the service are the ones who make the money. And yet sales / marketing are often seen as the good guys because they “bring the clients in”. And yet, as they are quick to shout out themselves, they can’t do that without technology.
Without IT the sales guys can’t:
a) email
b) print proposals
c) find new customers
d) research new customers needs
e) schedule meetings with prospective customers
f) … the list goes on
The fact is that IT is as much a part of the money generation part of the organisation as anyone else, these days more. If IT doesn’t work properly, nothing works properly, from receptionist to CEO.
Just my $2′000′000.00 Zim Dollars worth.
I think a large part of your problem Jon is that the environment that you’ve been working in has an INCREDIBLY high employee turnover rate. You are dealing with newbies on a weekly basis and many positions rotate constantly.
Several years ago the company had 600 computer users. During that single year they had 700 user account additions and deletions but the final user count hadn’t changed. How on earth do you even start training with stats like that? Anyone would get frustrated after a while.