We have a remote user that works out of his home that has trouble getting into the companies Webmail system, which is available on any internet connected PC. There really isn’t anything strange about this but what makes this situation unique is that since the guy is located in another city it makes support challenging and on top of that he makes a strong case for a potential Dyslexic patient. 9am I get a call from the guy and .. well, consider this scenario, <Read the User: parts with the most-excellent and hard-to-decipher Canadian Newfie accent>:
Jon: Okay so you’re having trouble getting into our Webmail, this is pretty straightforward we have another Webmail address I am going to tell you. Go ahead and load up Internet Explorer and in the address bar….
User: <Interrupts> Is that where you put in the google?
Jon: …Yes, in the address bar type in HTTPS:/ …
User: <Interrupts> Is that HPPS?
Jon: No, HTTPS (Note to reader, it was a perfectly clear telephone line, the guy is just…well…read on…)
User: HTPPS?
Jon: No, HTTPS
User: HEPES
Jon: NO!, H T T P S … <Repeats again slowly> H T T P S..
User: H T P E S?
Jon: ….. O_o no! <You FAIL at listening>
Jon: Okay…..type this, H..
User: H
Jon: T..
User: T
Jon: T..
User: T
Jon: P..
User: P
Jon: S..
User: S
Jon: Colon..
User: Cooling?
Jon: NO, colon!
User: Culen?
Jon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COLON!
User: Eh, whats that?
Jon: IT’S THE BUTTON WITH THE TWO DOTS ON IT NEXT TO THE “L” KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD ON YOUR LAPTOP ON THE TABLE THAT IS SITUATED DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU INSIDE THE VERY HOUSE WHICH YOU ARE CURRENTLY SEATED MY GOOD FRIEND. DO YOU NEED GPS CO-ORDINATES?
User: Okay dokey I’ll have to look for it hold on.
User: <Mumbles something incoherent>
Jon: … <Thinks to himself…OMFG OMFG is this guy for real?!> <But then sympathises that he might be genuinely IQ challenged>
User: I can’t find this ‘coling’ button…..I’m in Red Deer, can I bring the laptop to you today?
Jon: Uhhhh … Sure. <Thinks to himself “That’s a heckuva trip to make because you can’t enter HTTPS:// into your address bar! I mean WOW, you’re going to spend 2 hours driving down to my office because you can’t get this right? AMAZING!” I am absolutely floored!>
Lawl. Epic fail.
Filed under: Adventures @ Work, Humour | Tagged: Dyslexic, epic fail, listening skills, Red Deer
Unfortunately the HR department hired him and they are not much better.
When I instructed a user to say ok (click on the ok button). He said OK. Do we have voice controlled computers?
I almost invested in a bagful of stick-on “Any” keys at one point a few years ago. There’s a few people I knew would wear it out in a matter of weeks.
I know we’ve had people that have flown 4 or more hours to come for a 3 hour meeting with 3 other people, because they couldn’t figure out how to use the video conferencing facilities we have (that come with a 1 page laminated “Conferencing for Dummies” sheet). They just didn’t want to look like an idiot by having to ask IT, or the receptionist. They only looked like an idiot when their expenses for 2 nights hotel, rental car and meals were submitted for something that could have been done in an afternoon for free.
so dur i wuz serfing da google todayz…
He probably just wanted expense check for the mileage…